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A Witch Called Wanda

Ladies and Gentlemen…the Curriculum Vitae of Wanda Maximoff.

The Scarlet Witch. Daughter of Magneto. Founding member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.


Birthed in the caves of Wundagore Mountain by a super-strong half-cow mid-wife named Bova (this seemed important to tell you) and imbued with mystic energies by the God known as Cthon.


Deemed a “Nexus Being” by Cthon at birth, Wanda became the focal point for the entirety of the mystical energy of Earth-616. Not some. All.


Not Stephen Strange. Not Brother Voodoo. Not Doctor Druid. Wanda Maximoff.


Nexus. Being.

Betrayed her own father and gave up on the supervillain thing to serve on a crazy four-person Avengers team, otherwise known as the rock band “Captain America and the Criminals.”

Joined by her brother Pietro (known as Quicksilver and another founder of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants), and the wise-cracking Hawkeye (a petty thief who became a brilliant hero despite himself), this had to be the most interesting lineup in Avengers history.


Yes, kids. Hawkeye. Whom she later killed, revived from death and had sex with in a shack in the mountains of Wundagore. Or at least Hawkeye thought. Turns out it was a Doombot.  Long story.



Married the Vision (an android, no less) and used her magic to give birth to two children, both of whom she later discovered weren’t real but were actually taken from and reabsorbed into magic she stole from the body of Mephisto.


vision scarlet witch pregnant

Founded and transformed into the Wicked Witch of the West Coast Avengers, dedicated to darkness and power (as most people who move to California are).


Became a hero again and defeated Morgan Le Fey, the most powerful evil sorceress in all the worlds, by raising Wonder Man (her new boyfriend whose brain waves actually gave birth to her android husband, the Vision) from the dead.


Did I mention that she raised a couple of guys from the dead?

Harnessing her chaos magic to heal the sick and cure diseases, she took up leadership of the Avengers and inspired them to new levels of greatness.


After her powers caused her to have a massive nervous breakdown (which was later discovered to be the product of Doctor Doom imbuing her with the Life Force of everything on earth), she changed the entirety of existence into one where mutants ruled and everyone she loved was given their fondest wishes.


Angered that her father Magneto killed his son Pietro, she uttered just three words and reverted the world to its original state. But brought her brother back from the dead before she did. From the dead!


Oh, and killed millions of mutants in the process. Millions.

And then…

Battled and succeeded in defeating the Phoenix Force. Y’know, the nearly unstoppable and deadliest threat in the history of Earth-616.


Argue the fine points all you want, but the Scarlet Witch is one of the most powerful and frightening characters ever created in the Marvel Universe.

I really, really tried to write something clever and literate about my favorite heroine in comics (yes, I said it), but I think her history in comic lore speaks for itself.

And regardless of what you think of who should play her in the movies, all I can say is that when Kelly LeBrock appeared in that doorway in “Weird Science”, all I could see was Wanda using her hex powers to open the door to my bedroom in my mother’s basement in Long Island.

Wanda? Kelly? It was and will always be you…










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One Response to A Witch Called Wanda

  1. Maestro Anonymo October 10, 2013 at 10:34 am #

    Hey, she didn’t kill those mutants, she just took away their powers. Or maybe it was Doom who did it in an attempt to get back at the mutant son of that Fool Richards. But anyway.

Welcoming the Future, Treasuring the Past.