We’ve been discussing the many marriages of Lois Lane in recent weeks, and it must be admitted, this week’s is particularly odd.
Note, by the way, that Lois actually has hooves on this cover…
So how did this match made in hell take place? For the answers, we turn to SUPERMAN’S GIRLFRIEND LOIS LANE #103 (August 1970), “The Devil’s Bride!”, written by Robert Kanigher and drawn by Curt Swan. And in case you didn’t get the gist of things from the cover, check out the splash:
Our story opens in the middle of the action, with Superman and Lana Lang standing over the body of Lois Lane. And some tigers.
Superman’s taking her death pretty hard, it seems, not only blaming himself for her death but also marrying her dead body. Too little, too late, pal. Where were you three weddings ago?
After his creepy “non-nuptuals,” Superman flies off again, leaving Lana with Lois’ body when the mysterious Rajah Satdev arrives, to perform some sort of ritual over her body, resulting in Lois coming back to life, only with demonic horns sprouting from her forehead.
Lois thinks back, to when she was interviewing the Rajah for a story on the rare animal show, and found herself entranced by him, as well as making an offhanded comment:
Doesn’t Lois scoop Clark, like, all the time? Seems like she’s willing to sell the old soul kinda cheap. Naturally, the Rajah starts to put the moves on Lois, inviting her for a swim back at his estate, where she notices a cloven hoofprint in the sand. Later, Lois takes a swig of the Rajah’s Magic Elixir, and is compelled to pull his turban off, revealing his own devilish horns.
The elixir makes Lois grow her own horns (even though they weren’t there at the beginning of the story, but who’s counting, right?) and just at that moment Superman arrives, and just like in last week’s column, he’s brought a date. How considerate.
The Rajah isn’t too pleased at Superman’s arrival and hurls some lightning at him — unfortunately, it bounces off him and strikes Lois, killing her — or so they thought.
Later, the Rajah takes Lois away to his home. And where is that? Hades, you might think? No, it’s his home planet, Inferino.
Yes, that’s right. Lois is involved with yet another alien. Ay caramba.
As the Rajah tells Lois, all devil sightings throughout history were really just their people visiting earth over the years, but they really came in peace. As for Lois, well, just like her doctor boyfriend from the future and Batman, he too has been long “admiring” her from afar. In fact, he even has his own Lois Stalker room just like Superman and Batman. Man, I just don’t get it. Is Lois really that attractive?
Anyway, because she’s trapped with the devil horns, tail and hooves from drinking the Elixir, Lois agrees to stay on Inferino and marry the Rajah.
However, on the day of the wedding, Lois has a change of heart when she sees the inscription on the ring given to her by Superman (who, it should be noted, only agreed to marry her after she was dead).
Lois then asks to be returned even though she still looks like a devil, and the Rajah agrees, even turning her back into a human as well, which, it turned out, he could have done all along. Never trust an Inferinoian, I guess.
So what’s the lesson to be learned from all this? Well, either Lois was the hottest woman in the galaxy, or stalking was a lot more commonplace in late ’60s comics than we’ve been led to believe…